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Y } Thursday, November 02, 2006

Yea, how fake could everyone be? Yes, thinking back, I realise that in fact, not only me, everyone is fake. You may not know, I'm not the only one saying the things you read. Even your closest friend said that to me, directly just behind you. Not only closest friend, and also friends you always see at the canteen. They just come asking and telling me, when I don't even know why they come telling me! All I know is that they don't just tell me once, it's been several times. Comments like moodswings, fierce, petty etc. But I never tell you. There are many things that your guy told me, I just didn't said that 'cus I thought they weren't true. I never wanted them to be true, in fact. But things just ain't the way I want. Well, I need not even have to ask why or how you know it. 'Cus it has been very obvious- reading the messages, when I thought they were my private stuffs. When I trusted so much that when I respect your decision of not reading your diary, you would too. Well, maybe it's not a bad thing you knew it anw. Maybe this is your first time reading such stuffs about your character. I know you wouldn't change for anyone. I daren't ask for your forgiveness. But I know I've been truthful. I mean it's not totally his fault that he's even late. It's his grandfather. I actually know how it feels to lose someone. 'Cus I expereinced that not long ago. But it's his fault that he didn't msg and tell you. But is there a need to blow things up, is it even so difficult to forgive someone who is late? Is a friendship supposed to be taken so lightly, so vulnerable? Yes, it's his and your problem and I shouldn't even be interfering. But it just reflects on things. Just like what you obviously knows nobody likes hearing the truth. Yes, nobody. And how many years of friendship and it is only until now that I said such things. I guess I could no longer keep it inside me. I took pity on his grandfather's death, and maybe that's how things happen. For what I can remember, I have said such stuffs about you, only once. I even remembered reading something that you said that you hate me and stuffs, that I'm a bitch. That was also when we were the two close friends after the seperation with the other two girls. I was hurt that time too. But I just kept quiet. I didn't blogged about it, avoid you or anything. So I guess I wasn't the one fake. And why am I even fake and a betrayer to you? I didn't said that you wasn't petty to you before. I didn't lied. I just didn't let you know about it. I didn't want to hurt your feelings and everything. But now, I guess it's fate. Maybe it's up to you to decide whether this friendship still exist or not. Honestly, I hate losing it. But it was you who was hurt, so you decide. Or maybe now that you could already afford to lose me. Even if you lose me, you wouldn't be lonely. And you seemed to have already forgived her about the theatre thing. So maybe I should wish you two a forever true friendship, if you and my friendship don't exist anymore.
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Omg, I saw Ivan waiting outside school for Beng Suan.
I was even thinking why this person look so familiar.
And as I walked closer, I remembered, he's Ivan.
And omg, I think his pimple scars are worse now.
s:
Oh, a good thing, I'm in Mdm Timah's Geography class!
I have been praying to be in her class ever since the start!
HEHEHE.
Even if I have no friends there, I wna be there too!
'Cus I think I will learn in her class(:
Apple, BecN and BecC is there too.
:D
Well, Carol(bestfriend still?) is in Miss Wong's class again.
Hope she will learn better and more w/o Apple and my disturbance in class.
And hope she have friends there.
(:



\ i'm all about you.
2:56 PM