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Y } Thursday, August 24, 2006

went t school today.
though i can choose not t.
but staying at home is worse.
i couldn't sleep.
i kept waking up and cry.
e` house just feel so empty w/o her.
i woke up at 5.55am t prepare for school.
nobody is awake, i guess.
i woke up, i couldn't find her anywhere.
so i started crying in e toilet.
then dad woke up.
i stopped crying.
changed and went out.
saw vincent, cried.
from my house t school t lesson.
all e way.
i'm just damn sad.
and i couldn't seems t be able t vent it out.
it's like never-ending.
i can't help it, seriously.
and thanks t e three of them, who kept me accompanied all e time.
on e way back t class, got stopped by a teacher.
worse luhs, i cried harder.
and ended up in e counselling room w carol.
she's asked t go back t class & if i still don't appear up there in a period, she'd come down and find me.
mrs tan talked t me for awhile. 'cus she knows my condition - i told her.
then she have t go and print some stuffs.
e counsellor - mrs lim keep asking me if i wna talk about it.
and me, who DO NOT wish t talk that time, kept shaking my head.
so she ask me one question, i just nod/shake my head. or just a one-word answer.
she offered me milo, asked if i wna go have breakfast.
i shook my head.
carol came.
i'm soo glad.
hehs.
when she came down, i've calmed down alrd.
i counted- i cried for two hours in a go.
lols.
scary.
went back t class, cried.
found mdm chan, told her that she passed away, and amzingly she said she know 'cus mrs tan told her. =.=
p.e, i just sat there daydreaming. and saw jackson and a group of friends. told him e news, and it shocked him. samuel or rather everyone says that my eyes are swollen.
]: [vin says i look like i've got two fishballs in my eyes. hai.]
physics, tears in my eyes.
recess ate nothing, managed t smile and talk a bit.
eng, i cried and slept.
math, i cried.
cme i didn't.
[:
and when i met vincent, i cried.
yea, i cried and scream and whine like in e morning.
and according t him, it's scarier.
x:
he send me home, under my block, i cried. and i saw people walking their dog. cried harder.
saw e spot where my dog always urinate at, cried even harder.
tried t walk towards there, but got pulled back by him halfway.
i reach home, dad said " you got counselled today ar? your teacher called. she say she'll pray for brownie and us".
i was like, wah, how did mrs whelan know that?..
then dad asked me t keep all brownie's photo for e time being. and tried t talk sense into me.
cried a lil, 'cus i'm afraid that he'd scold.
ate dinner - porridge. my only meal for today.
[:
my eyes are hurting.



\ i'm all about you.
8:48 PM