Y } Wednesday, August 23, 2006
jun feng sent me a mms.
a picture of a little dog.
oh well, thanks.
when i got back home today, i saw my dog lying there. my brother told me that she can't stand. her legs are like jelly. which meant that she cant walk too. she hadn't urine for the whole day. 'cus she cant even stand. i tried to bring her to e toilet to see if she wants to urine. but she can't stand. she tried to, but in e end she laid there. just laid there. i carried her back. it seriously hurts my heart. i don't think i can stand it. i'm gna break down, i guess. i fed her water. i think there's something wrong luhs. her tongue. as if she's trying to bite her own tongue. and it also looks as if there's something stucked and she's trying to make it out.
then my dad came home, told him about this tongue thing. he said that no, it's her body organ. her mouth is smelly, 'cus her organ inside has started to rot. he asked if we wna give her e` jab t lessen her pain. hearing that, my tears couldn't be controlled anymore. he said that if e` dog could speak, e` dog would also choose to have e jab and goes off. he suggested to give her a jab to sleep, then give her e jab t go off. we, four of us [ dad, mom, bro & me ] would carry her while e doc gives her e jab. so at least she goes off in our arms. yes, it's heartbreaking and sad, of course. but we can't be selfish, and let her suffer there, just to have her by our side. she's just dragging. we had already gave her e best we could to save her and stuffs. we gave her e best shelter, e best companion, e best food we can. we have already did and love and dote on her wholeheartedly for e past eight to nine years. and now e time is up, sheng lao bing si, is part of our life. the decision of whether t give her e jab now is w my mama. if she agree, then most probably, if brownie can survive through this night, we will bring her down t e vet by tmr. the last night w us. i dare not think of the thought. ah ma, ah gong, xiao yi, wai chong, jun kai, jun yi and my brother's friends came t look at her for one last time. it's so saddening.
we would probably put her ash under our house block. we cant put it at home. 'cus we didn't even put our ancestor's, and we put our dog's. my dad think it's ridiculous.
now, ten plus, my dad decided t reduce her pain. gng t bring her down t mount pleasant t put her t sleep. 'cus we are afraid that she won't survive through tonight. and nobody will be beside her when she goes. so off we went. she laid on my laps. hai. during e journey, she kept biting, and when we reach, her tongue bled. i saw her getting e jab. it hurts like hell. no, it's worse than hell. normally, she would struggle. but this time, she just lie there. half e jab and she's already gone................................................................ i tried t shake her awake. but, my bro stopped me. he asked me t let her go................................................................... i don' t want, i don't bear t. i felt as if my world is upside down, inside out. ah ma cried. everyone cried. i saw my dad wiping his tears off. we talked t her. ah ma dragged me out of e room. why? 'cus i think i've cried badly inside. we went home, back into e car. we went there; eight people. and we came back w seven.
HOW COULD THEY???!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY DIDN'T WAIT FOR HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S IN E COLD COLD COLD COLD FREEZER WAITING T BE CREMATE. SHE WOULDN'T KNOW HOW T COME BACK HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GNG T BRING HER BACK. SHE PLAYED ENOUGH. IT'S TIME T COME BACK HOME, BROWNIE. YOU WENT OUT AT 10.52PM. IT'S TIME T COME BACK ALRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME BACK.................... I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT. JUST COME BACK............................... TO US, HEALTHILY.
\ i'm all about you.
7:02 PM
